☆Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park
I asked him "Why are you eating grass?"
He said "I am very hungry"
I replied "Oh, okay then. Come with me."
You should've seen his face when I showed him my backyard.
我在公园里看到一个流浪汉趴在地上吃草。
我问他：“你为什么在吃草啊？”
他说：“我太饿了。”
我说：“哎，你跟我来吧。”
你们真该看看他瞧见我后院时的那张脸。

☆ I once said to my son, "It doesn't matter if you're straight or gay..."
"... as long as you're not fucking gay."
我曾对我的儿子说：“你是同性恋还是异性恋都没关系...”
“...你只要没TMD在干同性恋就行。”

☆They say that Black people are better at athletics while white people are better in the water due to genetics and natural selection.
That makes sense. Who ever heard of someone swimming away from the cops?

科学家称，由于遗传和自然选择，黑人更擅长田径，而白人更擅长游泳。
这就说得通了，你见过哪个黑人在躲警察的时候游泳？